Motherhood

Open letter to myself!

Dear Checka,

Your nearly 29 years old, and in that time you have been through so much pain, heartbreak, anxious and outright soul-destroying times. Yet here you are, smashing your goals, with 3 beautiful children and a husband that worships the ground you walk on. You have an amazing group of friends, that will let you rant, moan, laugh and just be your weird self. With your birthday coming up, I thought this is the best time to finally write this and finally let you know it’s okay to let go of the pain and frustrations you’ve kept inside your mind & heart.

Let’s face it you didn’t have the best childhood, from the beating, to witnessing your mother being physically, mentally and emotionally abused on the daily. From the very first time when you were 6 years old, I know it hurts and I know it will always stay etched in your mind! Yes, i get it, you still don’t understand why! It’s not your fault for other people’s shitty behaviour, it never was and never will be. You’ve got to let it go and focus on all the good times you had! Focus on how far you’ve come from that scared 6-year-old! You conquered anorexia and bulimia, anxiety and all your other fears. Girl, you even got the degree you wanted! Now look at you, running your own website, and smashing that as well!

Look I’m not saying it’s all been plain sailing, lord even the past few years have been trying!! Yet, you still managed to hold your own, and did it all with a smile, dignity and grace. It’s time to start being your own hero, your own role model, your own goal setter. Because I know, all your friends have no idea how you’ve managed to do it all, without completely losing it! YOU did it all in private, no attention, no drama, just perseverance.

Hey, we know you’ve still got your haters, we know they’re still watching and reading this haha! Let them! Let them see you shine, let their bitterness swallow them whole. Don’t let their own insecurities get to you, because darling every beautiful princess, needs an evil witch to make her story perfect!

Just look into the eye’s of your 3 beautiful, amazing, caring, funny children, then tell me you’ve failed, I dare you! Because i know you wouldn’t be able to do that, they’re smashing all their targets at school, you’re always being complimented on how well-behaved they are, how well-mannered, and what beautiful children they are! For someone who didn’t have a motherly bond in her life, you’re complete smashing motherhood! Yes, i get it, it didn’t happen how you wanted it to, but look at them now, their adoption papers in a photo frame, proudly showing who their father is! Matthew!

Come on, did you ever think you would find the man of your dreams?? HELL NO! Yet here you are, a wife, a friend, a team-mate, to the man of your dreams! Hey, we know this journey hasn’t been plain sailing either, but it’s been worth the hassle! You get to wake up every morning next to him, and go to bed every night by his side. It’s been a rough ride, yet your writing this sat on the same sofa as him, thinking shit! How did I get so lucky?? I get it, i really do, but girl you need to give yourself some slack, you’ve dealt with the witches from hocus pocus haha and your still standing! You’ve still got your man! Girl celebrate, enjoy it, love it!

Checka, for your 29th birthday, I give you the approval to finally forget your past. No more dwelling on it, no more thinking if things were different, because my darling if things didn’t happen the way they did, you wouldn’t have the life you have now. Like the saying goes “God only gives us the life he knows we can handle”.

Now go and enjoy your life and be happy! xoxox

3 thoughts on “Open letter to myself!

  1. Thoroughly enjoyable read giving your reader(s) an insight into the trials and tribulations of your own personal journey in life. Think everyone needs to look at their lives and take time to do this and reflect and encourage your future self to keep pushing forward.

    PS you forgot to mention how good looking I am xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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